Thanks for connecting! You’re almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Dating video games are hugely popular in Japan: They’re text-heavy games where each click brings you a little closer to either getting to see some cartoon porn or ending up in a “game over” screen and then seeing that cartoon porn on Google anyway. The stories always involve a childhood friend you secretly lust for, a wise character with glasses who gives you advice that you secretly lust for and, this being Japan, a healthy dose of insanity. Some of these games take that last part a little too far, though, leading to some very confusing boners. School Days is a popular erotic “visual novel” that inspired various spin-offs across different media — including Cross Days , the game you can play with a literal cock control and which outs you as a pervert if you try to pirate it.

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When The Sims 4 was released in , some people who eagerly snatched up a copy soon found themselves perplexed by an apparent bug: The entire game eventually became blurry and pixelated , with the effect beginning as a way to obscure nude Sims and blossoming out from there. Did a major error slip through EA’s playtesting? Yes, EA was messing with game pirates. This isn’t the first time a developer’s decided to get cute with its anti-piracy measures.

In fact, some of the methods game makers have used over the years to thwart pirates have been downright insane.

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From there, you buy individual unlocks depending on which hunky sim you’ve decided to romance: And no matter which hot stay horror you choose, the simple thought exercise of giving up revenge and embracing forgiveness in the face of love is fascinating. Here’s a line you won’t hear too often: You barely get a chance to take in the cold, Norse-inspired republic of Niflheim before undead men start longing for your heart. It’s up to you with you want to court heartthrobs for the smug King Jean, a sim zombie named JJ, and a democratic socialite by the korea of Orlando.

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